2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
