Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
