i just google imaged poop.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
