Midget sex pt 2 tonight
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
