Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
