There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
