My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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