So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
