My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
