He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
