please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
