Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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