Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
