Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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