let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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