Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I want to be your penis for a week.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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