Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
North Korea, Best Korea!
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
