he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
