everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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