I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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