i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he thought i was a dude.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
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