How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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