it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
