i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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