how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
