i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You ate ashes out of my bong
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize