Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
