i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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