You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
im holly from the hills drunk
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize