So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The best revenge is premature balding
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
