She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
