Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
