she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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