I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
