Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize