Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
