I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize