The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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