When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I supernannyed him into submission
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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