Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
