the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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