it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
