You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
