just tell him i said nine months
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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