By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There's always time for handjobs
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
