is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
