i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
