I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
