i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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