bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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