my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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