so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
