Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
