Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
