GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
