If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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