Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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