hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
